The style of handling our lives as elders depends on the things we have experienced throughout our childhood.
May be you’ve heard the famous saying, “no one escapes childhood unscathed.” The statement is true without any doubt and it’s full of a significant universal importance. If you’re one who has experienced emotional abuse in your childhood that will make you extremely painful even in your elderly days. This kind of emotional trauma leads you to question yourself, your self-esteem and your strength in relationships. Perhaps this can lead a person into a long term mental illness.
If someone ignores the effects of childhood emotional abuse, it can last for a long time, may be for decades. The first step to get rid of these and be cured is to understand that you’re not alone in your life. This will help in healing your emotions in a large way.
1.You can’t be patient during loud noises.
You’d be unable to stand loud noises such as slamming the doors, shouting, yelling and sudden aggression. All these kinds of noises would make your mind run wild with anger. You’d feel as if your whole body shrinks. Breathing would become a hard thing for you as you get the feeling of anxiety within you.
2.You hardly accept praise.
Perhaps your parents were never content with what you did in your small days. May be you never washed the dishes properly, never cleaned the rooms to their standards, never scored in exams as they expected and may be everything was met with a half-smile instead of a big applause. Thus, lack of affection and praise makes one feel that he is not good enough. Even when he’s praised in adulthood, the person hardly believes it.
3.You feel as if you were born to get blame over you.
Have you ever waited long for someone’s reply when you text them? Perhaps they are angry with you. So, in this case you’d apologize continuously if you feel that you’ve annoyed someone. The reason for this is the feeling you get that you were born to receive blame. You always accept everything as your fault. In fact, your elders would have laid all the faults on you instead of acknowledging them in your childhood.
4.You will take years to trust a person.
You always think that people are always there to take the benefits from you. You think that they need something from you whenever they are kind at you. You feel embarrassed and difficult to trust someone when you have grown up in a toxic environment. This is a result of your parents, the ones a child trusts the most, changed rules and used love as a tool for manipulation.
5.Decision making becomes impossible for you.
If you’re one who has grown up in an environment where your work has been always neglected, you’d find it hard to make selections in your elderly life. You’ll always think ‘No, this is wrong’ or ‘May be this will cause problems’.
6.You remain neutral.
You never want to make trouble for anyone. Therefore, you always try to remain calm and quiet. This is due to a sequence of negative reactions from others. You stay neutral wanting others to like you as you’ve lived a childhood which was full of negative reactions to each and every work you did in the past.
7.You stay away from people.
It’s quite easy for us to keep people out of our way without getting hurt continuously.
8.You try to over-explain things.
As you have the feeling that people won’t believe you, you always try to over explain everything even if it is a totally believable story. This happens as you never want anyone to have any point to not trust you. This happens as you’ve lied a lot in your childhood days. You do this to avoid being labelled as a person who lies all the time.
9.You hardly believe that you’re loveable.
As you spent your whole life with others showing your mistakes, you feel as if you’re an unpleasant person. Perhaps, others have talked negative things about your personality. But yet you’d get negative feelings about your appearance, posture, the way of writing, the way of breathing, your smile and everything that belongs to you. Thus, you’d spend a hard time believing in others who love you truly.
You will keep undergoing the de-merits of a toxic family environment if you never understand your past. The past has taught you the way to look for the secret agendas and the hidden meanings of what someone said. And also it has shown you that the people you love the most can be horrible at some instances.
Always try to make the maximum use of your experiences in the past. Keep in mind that your past will never give a definition to you as it’s just a kind of advice for you to make a better life out of it. You’re still able to grow up and try another successful way of life. You need never feel your life as an ignorance.