Am I wrong for leaving a family dinner at an upscale restaurant

Attempting to please everyone often results in disappointing everyone, including oneself—a lesson a Reddit user learned firsthand.

Venturing into the AITA subreddit, the individual shared a tale of being a successful outlier within their family. Despite frequent international travels for work, they made it a point to treat family members to dinner whenever back in their hometown.

The routine took an unexpected turn when the user’s mother, upon learning of their impending visit, organized a family gathering at a high-end steakhouse. However, the surprise was in the size of the gathering, with over 20 people present—a stark contrast to the usual intimate gatherings of around six close individuals. The user was taken aback, realizing that even a neighbor of their grandma, whom they had barely interacted with, had been invited. This unfamiliar face had only been acknowledged with a casual wave in the past.

At that point, those who were present at the upscale restaurant had already ordered pricey steaks, which cost from $80 to $250 per person. As the waiters were bringing more drinks and more appetizers, the grandma’s neighbor raised a toast in which he highlighted OP’s generosity in covering the expenses. This set the stage for an unforeseen chain of events.

OP wasn’t happy he was expected to cover the bill for that many people without even be consulted about it in advance. According to his calculations, the bill was around $4,000 until that point, and counting.

Realizing his family was trying to take advantage of him, OP decided to leave the place.

He left $100 on the table and said, “I’m not paying for dinner,” as he stormed off.

His phone wouldn’t stop ringing. He received numerous messages, mainly from his mother, but he decided to turn the phone off and retire for the night. The following day he left the country without saying goodbye.

Despite recognizing his less-than-ideal handling of the situation, OP felt devastated that his family wanted to take advantage of him and his generosity in such a sneaky way.

“I know I’m nta with the dinner but more concerned about my reaction [sic],” he wrote.

Following his mother’s persistent pleas to call her, he decided to talk to her and apologize for storming out of the restaurant in such a manner, offering an olive branch. Sadly, he was met with accusations of being selfish, greedy, and disrespectful.

This came as a shock to OP who showed extensive kindness to his family over the years. Among the rest, he provided his mom with two cars, a bathroom remodel, a roof replacement, new appliances, and on top of that, he paid in full for numerous family vacations.

The accusations angered OP to the extent that he decided to put an end to any assistance for those who failed to appreciate it by taking drastic measures.

Shortly after, OP initiated a cascade of cancellations: six AT&T lines, internet services, streaming accounts with changed passwords or outright cancellations, removal from AAA coverage for the cars, termination of car insurance coverage for their mom, and the cancellation of the credit card they had provided.

This decision marked the beginning of the end of funding things for people who never showed any gratitude.

Most of the family members wanted to get involved into the feud, and OP was even uninvited from a cousin’s wedding with the explanation that they wanted to avoid any drama, yet the expectation for a gift remained.

OP believed that he shouldn’t talk to his mother until some time passes by. In the meantime, the discussion about the upcoming family vacation, a once lively topic, now lay dormant.

OP’s mother kept sending her son messages, each more hostile than the other.

One of his nieces, who wasn’t present but heard from a third-party, informed OP that on the day he left the restaurant, the family tried to cancel the rest of the dinner, but with appetizers and drinks already served, they reluctantly split a $700 bill.

That same niece also told OP that the entire family branded him a greedy monster.

“Everyone else at that table “knew” you were going to be paying for dinner but you. How odd. The position your mom and family put you in was quite disrespectful. And I do not know how you could have reacted better,” one person wrote.

“Your mom was way out of line for all of this. Starting with assuming you’re going to pay, choosing that expensive place, and inviting so many people. She owes you a major apology,” another added.

“Your family invited your neighbors!? Do you even know these people? Wait, it doesn’t even matter. And everybody had drinks and appetizers and steak…Paying for your part and leaving was entirely appropriate. They took advantage of the golden goose and the golden goose left and cut mama off,” a third commented.

Do you think OP made the correct choice in standing up for themselves?

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