Let’s clarify something: Women desire partners who are self-improving without relying on others. They aren’t rehabilitation centers for men with troubled pasts or poor upbringings. Women seek mutual growth and flourishing in relationships.
So, what’s the deal with the phrase “She makes me want to become a better person”?
We understand the intention—it’s meant to praise the woman’s influence and strength in motivating a man to improve. It’s meant to make women feel like they have a transformative impact on a man’s life.
However, upon deeper reflection, this notion is fundamentally flawed and not flattering at all.
Even worse, this concept is pervasive. It suggests that women are superhuman beings, expected to uplift immature men and mend their ways.
Consider Childish Gambino’s music video, where a troubled Kanye is comforted by Michelle Obama. Is this implying that Kanye secretly needs saving by a strong, brave woman like Michelle?
Here’s the truth: Women already carry a heavy load. They’re expected to be nurturing mothers, supportive partners, hardworking homemakers, and more. Adding the expectation to inspire men to be better is unreasonable.
Don’t they deserve inspiration and support too?
Perhaps you’re not aware, but women have their flaws and require mending as well. Who takes care of them? Themselves. They dive deep within to heal and grow.
Women don’t aim to raise their partners. Just because a woman is kind, decent, and admirable doesn’t mean she should be a man’s primary life guide. Being supportive is one thing; being expected to always be there due to your gender is entirely different.
Why is it common for women to support troubled men, but rare for men to support troubled women?
Women also struggle and face challenges. They deal with it privately and keep moving forward. So, stop placing the burden of personal growth on women. Instead of expecting a woman to fix you, strive to fix yourself. Improve. Grow. Stumble. And rise again.