Mike Berry, a devoted writer and a loving father to several children, has taken to his blog to express the profound importance of his wife in his life, even more so than his cherished children. This perspective sparked both admiration and critique from various individuals, leading to a widespread discussion.
Having spent 17 joyful years in a blissful marriage, Mike and his wife are not only nurturing their eight adopted children but also actively involved in community service, supporting families facing challenges. Their primary goal is to aid these families in fostering harmonious relationships.
In Mike’s own words, the clock usually strikes 8:30 in the evening, signaling the first gentle reminder to his two teenage daughters that bedtime is approaching. At 9 pm, he encourages them to retreat to their rooms, prompting inevitable protests of, “Why do we have to go to bed at 9? We are not children anymore!”
Mike calmly responds, “You don’t have to go to bed, just give Mom and me some time. We haven’t had the chance to connect all day due to work. We need this time together.”
The daughters, not entirely convinced, roll their eyes.
This routine has been a constant in their household for as far back as Mike can remember. Despite being parents for 15 years, their children never monopolized their time. While they deeply love and support their children, they firmly believe in maintaining a balance. The couple ensures their marriage remains strong and healthy amidst their parenting responsibilities, highlighting four significant reasons why this is crucial.
1. A Strong Marriage is the Foundation of a Happy Home:
According to Mike’s perspective, the family’s foundation is not solely the children. While children undoubtedly play a crucial role, they do not bear the responsibility of holding the family structure together. The fundamental aspect of a family is the relationship between the husband and wife. The couple sets the example, and children emulate based on this.
2. Prioritizing the Relationship That Precedes the Children:
Before the children came into their lives, it was just the two of them. They were deeply in love, attending classes together, engrossed in endless phone calls, and made a commitment to spend their lives together. This initial bond was the catalyst for the family they have now. While the children bring immense happiness, the sanctity and value of their marriage should never be overlooked.
3. Investing in a Lasting Relationship:
Acknowledging the inevitability of change, Mike stresses that children grow into adults and eventually build their own lives. It’s a natural progression where they will leave the nest. Planning for this future, Mike aims to retain the strength and intimacy of his relationship with his wife. When their children have families of their own, they want their relationship to remain as vibrant as it was from the very beginning. This necessitates proactive efforts to prioritize their relationship amidst busy schedules and the demands of parenthood.
4. Setting an Example for the Future:
Mike firmly believes in raising adults, not just children. He understands that children emulate the behavior they witness in their parents. By showcasing a strong and loving marriage, Mike aspires to instill a positive attitude towards dating, marriage, and love in his children. A healthy relationship between the parents serves as a guiding light for the children in their own relationships.
Despite their hectic lives, filled with the constant presence of their children and tight schedules, Mike emphasizes the need for designated “adult time.” He advocates for a date night twice a month, ensuring they nurture their bond as a couple because, to them, it profoundly matters.
In conclusion, Mike stands firm in his belief that his wife holds a special place in his heart, placing her before their children. What are your thoughts on this perspective? Feel free to share your opinions in the comments below.